My kids discovered E.T. Well, rather, my husband and I were going through the list of movies we enjoyed when we were younger and we thought they would enjoy E.T. too. Their television time has moved to more parent selected movies and away from commercial television. One of the reasons, my “trigger finger” can’t seem to change the channel quickly enough before a commercial not fit for a 35 year old comes on the family-friendly station. My oldest son has even picked up my queue and rushes to change the channel at the hint of a commercial starting. I’m not sure what that unintended training is doing to him. Yes, maybe I’m being a little extreme. Okay, I know this is no way to watch television. I mean, I love television like any other SAHM raising three children, especially late at night after the children go to bed. Well, we were happy to finally find a movie they hadn’t seen yet.

Me: Hey, would you guys like to see E.T.

I asked excitedly. My older two children looked at me funny and my oldest son replied.

Son: What’s E.T.?

Me: Okay good. I’ll get that movie.

I didn’t finish the conversation because I was so happy to find a movie they hadn’t seen yet. Our race to be the first to enjoy many movie classics or parent-approved recent releases has been a challenge because their dentist, as I’m noticing many doctors, has children’s movies playing on their television screens all day. If it’s not a movie, then some network channels are left to run wild all day long. Why must the television be in a doctor’s office? Books are great. Let’s read a book. When I use to go to the dentist, I was left in a reclined position as I fought off the urge to gag with my cherry flavored fluoride gel my mouth. All I had to look at was a picture of furry animals running in a field that was precisely taped on the ceiling above my chair. I was forced to use my imagination for entertainment. What’s wrong with that? Granted, my imagination has a tendency to run wild every once in a while now, but at least it works.

We ordered E.T. from Netflix and just in time for our road trip. Even before we pulled out of the driveway, my children had already watched it four times. It wasn’t until the third time that I caught a few gratuitous words spoken by Elliot (ex: “_ _ _ _ _ breath.”) and later by the other young boys in the movie. Think of the unnecessary breast reveal in a movie and you have the same question. What point or purpose did that have in the movie? Surely, they could have achieved the same effect in another manner, but who am I to tell Steven Spielberg how to direct his movies. I wonder if he let’s his children talk like that. Well, we don’t and after some of the conversations in our home contained similar language, it was time for E.T. to return home.

E.T. has been returned to the Mother Ship and isn’t invited for another 16 years, if not longer. So much for enjoying the classics with my kids.